just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
