Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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