Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
