every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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