Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
