guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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