I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
