direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
