just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
