Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
