You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
