i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
