We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize