Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
As shirtless as possible
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
