he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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