do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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