ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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