Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
