Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
