"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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