Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize