Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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