you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
