do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
