i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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