Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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