You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize