need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
