I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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