Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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