That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You are the jesus of drinking
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
