He had one of those small greek statue penises
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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