He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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