your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
