OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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