What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
