I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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