OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
