On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
