I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
