So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
