thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
