Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
