Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
