The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize