so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I love you. Go after that dick
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
