it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize