you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
