FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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