my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
