Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
