You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
