i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
