So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Randomize
