the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
