You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This is the high leading the old right now
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
