i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
