somebody snuck up and got me drunk
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
