At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
