The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
